This is going to be a long post, but bear with me. During the summer, I journaled a bit about the process I went through before accepting my current position as Teacher of the Deaf through Teach for America. I hope it will give you a glimpse into my placement and my heart for my job.
On 6/15/2010 I wrote the following email to Ann Brendal, the supervisor for deaf and hard of hearing students in Gallup-McKinley County Schools. We had recently had a phone conversation about the possibility of me working as Teacher of the Deaf for a 10th grade student in Tse’Yi’Gai, a very rural, isolated part of the Navajo nation. The role, as it turned out, seems to be less intervention and more interpretation—which terrified me. The email was written after a long afternoon of pondering the contradictions of my qualifications and my passions, the juxtaposition of my lack of experience and my sense of purpose.
I spent a lot of time pondering the position this afternoon and wanted to express some thoughts/concerns. I originally inquired about the position simply out of curiosity for pursuing future education in deaf/hard of hearing education, understanding that I am not qualified or trained as an interpreter. I realized this afternoon, shortly after our phone conversation, that I am experiencing a conflict of interests. While I jumped at the opportunity to potentially dive into work as a deaf educator, it was piqued by my passion for the language, the culture, and the incredible opportunity for personal and professional growth. Simultaneously, however, I am very passionate about Deaf rights and am concerned as to whether my presence would actually be of benefit to the student, or actually perpetuate a disservice of limited access to information. As you are probably already gathering, I have a lot of questions about the student's other options, especially pertaining to the School for the Deaf and your partnership with them (and the possibility of those professionals working with him). While I would do everything in my power to provide as much access as possible, work diligently to assemble resources, and seek out assistance from other professionals, I want what is best for this student and do not want to set us both up for failure.
I hope you find these thoughts and questions to be helpful as you try to develop the best opportunities for this student.
On 6/16/2010 I received this reply from Ann. This email was read immediately after the Teach for America “Welcoming Ceremonies,” which caused even more turmoil in my heart over the dilemma of this student and the role that I could somehow play. More thoughts about the Welcoming Ceremonies follow this email.
I appreciate your ultimate concern for the Student.
Placement at NMSD in Santa Fe for high school students is my personal preference.
This student has tried that, twice- it has not worked out for him. Reasons include-- his missing his family, of course. His father even moved with the student, to a location that allowed bussing to Santa Fe daily. Cost of living is so high in Santa Fe, and jobs difficult to obtain, and do not pay well for the average person. The student had severe separation anxiety. There are still ramifications from forced boarding school placements that affected previous generations.
Also, just an aside, there is a culture amongst students at NMSD that separates those very fluent signers from those who are not fluent. This student went to a BIA elementary school that had his aunt work as his interpreter- but this turned out to be a real detriment to the student's independence and language development.
He has had a very capable interpreter this past year. This of course has not only improved his academics, but his social and behavioral development as well.
I totally respect - and am impressed by- your stand on making sure this student has his best options. That is why I would really encourage you to continue to think of this district as a possible work place. We are committed to making sure our students with IEPs have the best education they can receive. It is difficult. We work closely with
NMSD's outreach programs, working toward best practices.
I hope you continue to keep us in mind, if you would like a phone interview, to be followed by an ASL assessment, please let us know. Check the NMSD website- there are training opportunities that may be useful for you.
I appreciate your honesty and putting students first.
Two things really struck the chords in my heart during the Welcoming Ceremonies. The first story was given by the Curriculum Specialist that I’ve been working with at Institute, April Boozer. Her story was about how she specifically requested to have a “problem” student transferred into her class, despite his reading being two years behind grade level. In the end, they overcame the odds together and made huge gains towards his future academic potential. People asked her, “Why did you do it?” Her response? “If not me, then whom? If not now, then when?”
The second story is about a current Teach for America teacher, Megan Russo, who taught 9th grade science in the Bronx last year. At the beginning of the year, she was struggling with what kind of “Big Goal” she could set for her students since the majority of them were reading on a 7th grade level, many were only at a 5th grade reading level, and all of them had minimal prior exposure to science. She found out that NY has a Regent’s exam that students can take to prove science proficiency—an exam that most Bronx students never take. She learned that if 9th graders pass this exam, it will put them on an honors track—a track pushing them towards college. So she set the goal that 100% of her students would pass the exam (a minimum of 65% score). At the end of the year, 95% of her students passed the exam with an average score of 81% mastery. The rest passed the exam after continuing tutoring over the summer. She was a beginning teacher—not a specialist. And she made it happen.
It is arrogant, it is idealistic, and it is terrifying to envision myself fighting against all odds. To be fighting against all my insufficiencies and all of the history of systemic failures in the worlds of deaf and native education. It is also too exciting to let myself be afraid of failure. Failure will inevitably be part of the process, but doesn’t have to be the end result. It is crazy. And I have to ask myself, “What if people that I respect, people who are experienced and qualified tell me that I can’t? What if people say it’s not possible? What if I am not only fighting against all of the history of disadvantage but also am drowning in a sea of other people’s doubts? How will I let that affect me? Will I let that change my resolve or my belief in this student’s capacity?” If I pursue this opportunity, ultimate failure cannot and will not be an option.
I am at a crossroads. I dream of being someone to deaf/hard of hearing education like Wendy Kopp is to Teach for America. I dream of ignoring the statistics, diving in over my head, “unqualified,” and proving everybody wrong. If the woman who taught Helen Keller was inexperienced and ultimately successful, why shouldn’t I be? I have a decision to make, and it could potentially alter my life course. Do I dare to challenge adversity so boldly and test every molecule of my being to pursue developing this deaf student’s academic opportunities, or do I submit to norms of qualifications and resign myself to other opportunities?
July 18, 2010
I accepted the position of Teacher of the Deaf for Vaughn a couple weeks ago. It was such an excruciatingly analytical process…in a circumstance that couldn’t be effectively broken down. Mary Morrison, my American Sign Language professor, advisor, and friend ended up telling me that I needed to drop my analytical mind and stop trying to justify either side of the position because I could make a justification in either way. People would be supportive and unsupportive regardless of which I choose, so I just needed to GO WITH MY GUT and stick by my decision no matter what. And even though my gut was telling me “Vomit” during that conversation, I knew that my original reaction was sheer excitement. And so I accepted it. Granted, I have had my moments of panic and confusion, and I very well may have gotten myself in over my head... I am in over my head. I really have no specifics of the breadth and depth of what is going to happen over the next two years…
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